Bad Relationship With Parents: How To Find Out What Your Parents Are Toxic And Get Rid Of Their Influence
Toxic parents are people who use destructive parenting methods in relation to their children, which traumatize the psyche and character of the child. Toxic parents do not respect their children and do not treat them as individuals. They will not try to find compromises, take responsibility for their behavior, or apologize for it. Now we will learn how to recognize toxic parents and cope with bad relationships with parents.
Signs Your Parents Don’t Care About You
Parents Transfer Their Problems to Their Children
Many parents do not believe in psychotherapy and do not see the need to heal their childhood injuries, so they inevitably injure their children.
Parents Don’t Approve of the Child’s Hobbies
Toxic parents in adulthood insist that the child receive a classical education and follow a traditional career path. They are not ready to understand what they do not understand.
Parents Put the Satisfaction of Their Needs First
Toxic parents are too focused on their needs and interests and therefore ignore the needs of the kid.
Parents Do Not Respect the Personal Boundaries of the Child
Another sign of toxic parents is the violation of personal boundaries under the sign of “love” and “care”. Such parents believe that special control is needed for the child, and this forces the child to withdraw into himself.
Parents Do Not Take Responsibility for Their Actions
Toxic parents, who are not ready to admit that they made a mistake and try to figure out what they were wrong about, only delay the healing process — both for themselves and for the child.
Effects of Toxic Parents
When your parents are toxic, anxiety increases, there are fears about the decisions made and the words spoken. Before making a decision, the child will doubt about a long time and dig into himself.
A person will expect a trick in everything. Those who are faced with a violation of their personal boundaries will not understand how to act further, where to take the strength to inspire and implement their plans. Suspicion is born in response to unfair actions committed against a particular person.
Inability to see the good
Positive thinking is not formed from scratch. If parents have not instilled the ability to rejoice since childhood, have not shown by their own example how to do it correctly, then the child will not learn it on his own. The inability to see the good is one of the most striking consequences.
Why Do Parents Think They Are Always Right?
Many parents are sure that they know everything in advance and are always sure that they are right because their life experience is greater. Very often, such parents do not want to take into account the child’s point of view and insist on their opinion, even if they are wrong. Such situations lead to conflicts.
What to do:
Calmly talk to your parents, argue your point of view politely. Do not point out that they are wrong. Argue less where it is not fundamentally important. They may be wrong, but this wrong is not worth quarreling with them.
How to Deal With Toxic Parents
These tips will help in dealing with toxic parents
- live separately and make independent decisions;
- gain financial independence;
- build positive relationships with children and loved ones;
- dose communication with toxic parents;
- do not allow violation of personal boundaries and manipulation in relation to yourself;
- do not try to re-educate parents, but change the style of communication.
How to Get Away From Toxic Parents: Tips
Set Boundaries and Be Persistent
If you start acting, somehow, in a new way, then your family, parents will start checking you and testing your strength. It is important to understand that difficulties and resistance in forming new boundaries of relations are normal phenomena.
Breaking up with toxic parents
It is very important to separate on an emotional level. There is no need to react to manipulations, make accusations or reproaches to the heart, take responsibility for their feelings, desires, and needs.
Change Your Communication Style
Start exploring your feelings and relationships in the family. There are times when your internal changes are enough to even out the situation. However, this does not mean that your parents will also change. You will change, and this will affect the overall system of relations.
How to Deal With a Toxic Mother
Reduce the Time That You Spend Together
It does not matter if you meet on weekends or just talk on the phone – try to limit the number of contacts.
Think about Stopping Communicating for a While
If now there is a period when your conversations become particularly toxic – it is better to start avoiding them.
Keep Your Confidence
A toxic mother rarely behaves respectfully towards a child. She can look for all the weaknesses of the child, provoke conflicts, so you need to be able to stand up for yourself.
Even if your mother is really a toxic person, try to keep peace with her. Speak to her with respect, as this is an important step towards establishing boundaries.
Controlling Parents Quotes
“Shut up, I know better! It’s for your own good.” “You’re not going anywhere, stay at home.” Such controlling phrases do not allow the child to get life experience; children do not explore the world and themselves. Excessive control of parents is their way to bind a child to the family, to fill an empty life with at least some meaning.
What to do: stop being led by manipulations and tricks of parents. Learn to live your own life, not the life of your parents. Do not develop a sense of duty and guilt – this is blackmail. Break the chains of dependence.
Quotes about Toxic Parents
Dysfunctional parents let their children know how burdened they have been by their children and how many sacrifices they had to make in order to raise them. – Dr. Marita Sirota.
Controlling parents will always assume their children are property they can possess. – Trials And Tests.
Love and respect them, but do not get caught up in their drama. – Trials And Tests.
We believe that toxic parents have a negative impact on the child’s psyche and his life. In the future, the child will be afraid to live by his own beliefs and be impressionable and nervous. Follow the tips in this article to avoid the toxic influence of parents and improve the relationship in the family.
- Are your kids happy? Yes?! We are glad of it!
- Oooops, I'm sorry you didn't like the article. Can you tell me why?